5 useless cosmetic procedures

Which cosmetic procedures are not worth the money we spend on them?

28.09.15, 13:38

As kids we believe in Santa and Tooth Fairy, as young girls - in suitors to take all of our problems away, and as we grow up we switch the above for magical beauty procedures. And yet in vain! Some of those procedures are at best useless, and at worst may lead to truly undesirable consequences. Our author Zhanna Baceda (former beauty editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine) reflects on some of the worst cosmetic treatments to keep you from wasting money and potentially – some nerves. 

Boost up

EXPECTATION. In a beauty salon they tell you this procedure is aimed at creating “a stunning root volume with styling effect, 24 hours a day”. On top of that “Boost up” is supposed to cure oily hair roots. 

REALITY. The intriguing BOOST UP title is only a cover for trivial root perms. Hair roots are rolled onto small hair pins and are treated with a special chemical. I assume the “ripple” effect when your hair jump up like springs should satisfy those suffering from rare hair and flat heads. 

Бейонсе ( Beyonce)

I have to give it to this procedure - it really did give me quite a volume which would have been duly appreciated by the celebrities of the ‘70s. Along with that I have acquired a backcombed mess which refused to give in to a comb or even fingers. As promised, my oily roots were gone and replaced with dry and brittle ones instead. Some significant drawbacks – with “boost up” in place you may as well forget about a proper hair bun, the “ripple” looks less than attractive, and tangled hair constantly strive to roll into dreadlocks. 

CORRECTING MISTAKES. As a result, having lost most of my hair (perm is perm regardless of how you name it), I was able to rescue the rest with a few keratin treatments and straightening. Hair treatment after the “boost up” cost me twice as much.  

Кара Делевинь (Cara Delevingne)

Permanent makeup

EXPECTATION. In the beginning of the naughts tattooing eyebrows and lips was at the top of the most popular procedures. “Beauty that is always with you” - the salons advertised it. 

I, the owner of bushy and patchy eyebrows, decided to get rid of the pain of contouring them into an even thin line on a daily basis, and dared to go for permanent makeup. (I wish I knew back then that soon enough Cara Delevingne and her natural thick eyebrows would shine at the celebrity Olympus!)

REALITY. Eyebrow tattooing is probably the most common beauty procedure that very few people end up being satisfied with: some are not happy with form, the others – with color. Of course, the outcome in many ways depends on your aesthetician’s skills, but let’s be frank: very few people manage to achieve the natural look. The majority of the “test subjects” of this procedure receive a high soaring arc and permanently surprised expression on their faces, and sometimes a color of their eyebrows that has nothing to do with a color of their hair…

CORRECTING MISTAKES. I was more or less lucky: a few years later the ink tattooed into my skin faded, and the hair grew back again thanks to products that stimulate growth of eyelashes and eyebrows. Some of the acquaintances of mine who were less fortunate to the extent when eyebrows wouldn’t let them go out in public decided to apply more radical measures and went for laser removal. They say the procedure is painful, costly both in terms of finance and time, and the bruises and crusts take long to heal.

RF face lifting

EXPECTATION. RF lifting is a skin lifting treatment aimed at eliminating skin flabbiness and wrinkles, strengthening turgor and better defining the oval of one’s face. Cosmetologists promise that after the very first session you'll see positive changes, and by the end of the entire course (6 to 12 sessions) skin gets the desired elasticity and smoothness. 

REALITY. The expensive treatment did not meet my expectations. There was no effect in sight after a month or four sessions of it. I didn't like spending thirty minutes lying while someone moves a piping hot nozzle across my face smeared with gel.

Рэйчел МакАдамс (Rachel McAdams)

CORRECTING MISTAKES. There are various opinions on RF lifting. When I tell people about my negative experience some say it was an ineffective equipment that was used for my treatment, the others blame the cosmetologist lacking skill and claim that I have made a mistake suspending the course prematurely. However I tend to think that absence of any results after four procedures barely leaves any hope to see a wow-effect after six of them. The wasted money was a pity, at a zero outcome I have only acquired experience. 

Дженнифер Лоуренс (Jennifer Lawrence)

Fire haircut 

EXPECTATION. The effect is achieved by combining the therapeutic properties of fire and special cosmetics which is applied on hair right before the cut. This procedure is meant for dry and brittle hair, nourishes it with minerals and amino acids, and gets rid of split ends. 

REALITY. Although this procedure is called a haircut, in reality it is more of a treatment and sealing of hair – neither the form nor the length will change. I needed an additional haircut (costing me additional money) after it. 

I must confess, throughout the procedure I was tense and my nerves were stretched to the limit. To avoid ignition the fire should only touch wet ropes of hair, and I constantly felt like touching it to make sure it was wet enough. The ends of my hair were crackling and melting. 

CORRECTING MISTAKES. Fire haircut is not an all-curing elixir. It is more of a standard treatment with a little bit of show involved. It is worth trying if your life is boring and requires a little bit of exoticism and adrenaline boost. Otherwise fire cut is no different from haircuts with hot scissors, except it costs more. 

Cavitation (ultrasonic liposuction) 

EXPECTATION. Cavitation is a non-surgical procedure to get rid of body fat. The essence of this treatment is the impact the low frequency ultrasound has on adipose tissue. 

Simply put, the ultrasound breaks down fat cells which are then removed from body naturally. The effect is noticeable after the very first treatment and amplifies in the next few days. One cavitation session reduces the waist size by 3 to 5 cm. 

Девушка перед зеркалом

REALITY. After giving birth I wanted to get rid of swollen hips and a layer of fat on my waist. Six sessions of cavitation (the entire course is 5 to 8 treatments) did not bring any results. Given that I strictly followed all of the negotiated terms: ate healthy and drank plenty of water, I left my last treatment with the same measurements as I had on my first day. The cosmetologist shrugged and told me it was the first time treatment didn’t work in her practice. Well, apparently I was out of luck and was an unfortunate exception. 

CORRECTING MISTAKES. The pros: the treatment was painless, the hand massage was nice and the acquired life experience (yet another one!) taught me that extra centimeters could not be removed in a lazy-easy way. 

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